Tag Archives: Coming out

The Vatican’s Gay Anxiety  

David Berger is a Catholic (lay) theologian who was fired from a prestigious teaching post because he is openly gay. As such, he has a special insight into the significance of the Vatican theologian Msgr Krzysztof’s coming out as gay and partnered. He shared his views in an interview with Frankfurter Rundschau.

This is my own free translation:

The Catholic Church can no longer avoid the debate over gay priests. 

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The gay theologian David Berger talks in an interview about the outing of gay clergy Krzysztof Charamsa and about homosexuals in the Vatican. However, Berger leans against blessings for homosexual couples.

Mr. Berger, the Vatican summarily dismissed – in secular terms – the gay theologian Krzysztof Charamsa after his coming out . Was this grasping at crisis management?

In an attempt to demonstrate strength, the apparatus showed in truth its weakness and its vulnerability. The great legal tradition of the Catholic Church, of which we might actually be proud, in this moment is worth nothing any more, after the outwardly hostile attitude towards homosexuality is exposed as living a lie.

Continued at The Queer Church Repository

Gay Vatican Theologian: Coming Out “A Profoundly Christian Step”

Monsignor Krzysztof Charamsa is not the first gay Christian to observe that coming out is a Christian process: Daniel Helminiak has written that it is an experience of both spiritual and psychological growth, Chris Glaser that it has so much spiritual significance, that it should be seen as a kind of sacrament. For lesbian and gay Catholics, however,  Msgr Charamsa’s observation carries special weight. He is not simply a gay Catholic, a gay priest, or even “just” a gay theologian. He is (or was) one of the most influential of all theologians of the Catholic Church. As a senior theologian with the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, it was his job to know more about approved Catholic theology, including the theology of sex, than just about anyone else.

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That he also knew, from both study and from his personal experience of love, that this approved theology is a load of codswallop will have been an extremely stressful influence in his life, leading ultimately to his decision to come out publicly. Continue reading Gay Vatican Theologian: Coming Out “A Profoundly Christian Step”

Senior Gay Priest Coming Out: New Ways Ministry Responds

“Gay Priest’s Revelation Is an Important Step  for Himself and for the Catholic Church”

Statement of Francis DeBernardo, Executive Director, New Ways Ministry

MOUNT RAINIER, Maryland—Monsignor Krzystof Charamsa’s announcement of his gay sexual orientation is an important step for him personally and an important step for the Catholic Church.  This Vatican official, who worked at the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, exhibited courage and honesty in making his orientation public.

His revelation is an acknowledgement of the truth of the way God has made him, and, like millions of other LGBT Catholics, his self-acceptance and self-affirmation will help him better understand God’s love for him. For the Catholic Church, his news is another step in our growing process of coming to better terms with our LGBT brothers and sisters.

It is sadly disappointing that the Vatican fired him when they learned of his announcement.  He now joins the long list of LGBT people and allies who have been fired from jobs in Catholic institutions because of LGBT issues.  It is unfortunate that Church leaders did not see Charamsa’s announcement as an opportunity for further dialogue with someone they have known and trusted.

We hope that his news will help the bishops of the world gathering in Rome this weekend for three weeks of synod discussions which will include pastoral outreach to families with LGBT members.  His witness to the holiness of the lives of LGBT people and the goodness of their relational lives could help these church leaders discern more appropriate and accepting forms of pastoral care.   His testimony of struggle and overcoming fear should help these bishops see the challenges and joys that many LGBT people and their families face.’

The decision to come out is a highly personal one, and one which only the individual can make.  Only the individual can decide when it is safe and responsible to do so, taking into account the possible negative repercussions that can occur in terms of employment, housing, and relationships.  Only the individual can decide when the pressures of the closet have become too difficult for their emotional and spiritual lives. New Ways Ministry continues to support all LGBT people–including priests, nuns, brothers, deacons, bishops–as they discern when is the appropriate time for them to make such a revelation about themselves.

 

Ignatian Spirituality and LGBT Inclusion

In referring to my own faith journey, I have often referred to the value that I have derived from my time exploring Ignatian spirituality, in a Jesuit parish, and in the Jesuit – sponsored lay movement, the Christian Life Community (CLC). It has given me a firm conviction that there simply is no contradiction between a life of integrity as an openly gay man, and my Catholic faith. This conviction, developed over many years, was based initially on extensive Ignatian prayer, spiritual direction, and an extraordinarily intense, genuinely mystical, Ignatian directed retreat.

In my earliest encounter with the Jesuits and sexuality, I was told by a parish priest that “faith” is not a matter of the intellect, but of experience.  Based on that definition, I have the faith. Conversely, one definition of theology, is “faith seeking understanding”. I have the faith – what I have been doing these past dozen years or so, has been a search for understanding. All that I have learned, from explorations of the bible, of LGBT and church history, social anthropology, natural science, and theology, has left me more convinced than ever, that this is indeed so. “Gay Catholic” is not an oxymoron, but for those of us with a natural same – sex affectional orientation, a simple statement of personal integrity and honesty.

The notable Jesuit theologian Karl Rahner has written that it is possible for each of us to experience what he calls a “personal encounter with God”. Once experienced, he notes, nothing can stand between us and that experience: not the Church, not the Bible itself. It is my firm belief that in the retreat I referred to earlier, I was blessed with just such an experience – thus reinforcing even further my deep conviction that for gay Catholics, coming out and accepting that sexuality as part of our “sexual identity” is no more than adherence to an important Catechism command.  And so, I strongly advise anyone still struggling to reconcile sexuality and Catholic faith, to explore the riches of Ignatian spirituality.

There is no need to do this alone. My own experience was immeasurably helped by membership of a Jesuit parish, and a particularly strong CLC group, but there are other routes. The Jesuits have a well – deserved reputation as a gay – friendly order of priests, for which the evidence is clear. Of the explicitly gay welcoming parishes worldwide, a high proportion are Jesuit led.   In many countries, there are Jesuit priests who run spiritual retreats, specifically tailored to LGBT needs and concerns. One final indicator of the value of Jesuit support, is found in the program for the “Ways of Love” conference, to held in Rome this October, as part of the foundation meeting of the Global Network of Rainbow Catholics. Of the 10 headline speakers for this conference, three are Jesuit priests, and two are religious women in orders shaped by the Ignatian tradition.

One of these, works directly with the CLC community. In a notable article earlier this year, he describes how openly acknowledging their sexuality, enabled a gay CLC group not merely to find acceptance by other CLC groups and the national CLC community, but also to break down prejudice, and even develop straight allies.

Read his full article in Spanish, or below, in an English translation, courtesy of Gionata.

A.M.D.G.

(“Ad maiorem Dei Gloriam”).

Continue reading Ignatian Spirituality and LGBT Inclusion

Evangelical Campaigner to Lead "Accepting Evangelicals"

Yet more evidence that in all Christian denominations, LGBT people are making their presence felt, working for inclusion.  With her background, Jayne Ozanne will be a formidable campaigner for equality.

She once denied her sexuality, believing that being gay and Christian were incompatible. Like others in the ex – gay movement, she  tried to change her sexuality, even resorting to exorcism, but found that denial led to a mental breakdown, and that so – called “conversion therapy” is a charade. She has since come to terms with her sexuality, found that it is indeed possible to be openly both Christian and gay, and will now lead “Accepting Evangelicals”

The Independent has the story:

Jayne Ozanne: Evangelical campaigner comes out

One of the Church of England’s most influential evangelical campaigners, who for years believed it was impossible to be both gay  and a Christian, has declared that “God is a God of surprises” as she came out as a lesbian.

As a member of the Archbishops’ Council between 1999 and 2004, Jayne Ozanne held what she called “extremely black and white” views on sexuality and “did not believe it was compatible to be gay and a Christian”.

But yesterday she came out as gay, and was announced as the new director of Accepting Evangelicals, a Christian group aiming to promote “acceptance of faithful, loving same-sex partnerships”.

–  more at The Independent.

Queer Saints and Martyrs for October

October

  • Oct 2nd
  • St Poplia , woman deacon (Womenpriests.org)
  • October 31st
    • Hallowe’en?

The Miracle that Created a Southern Baptist Straight Ally

If the coming out process can be difficult, and coming out in church even more so, those difficulties can be even more so deeply religious parents of lesbian or gay people.  Lance Bass was raised in Mississippi by a committed Southern Baptist family – not the easiest environment for any religious family to discover that their son is gay – and very publicly so, on the cover of tabloid magazines. At Huffington Post, Lance Bass describes what happened after he came out, how his mother prayed for a miracle – and how the miracle granted was not the one she expected.

Lance Bass
Lance Bass

The bulk of the post is in his mom’s own words, the text of a speech she delivered to a local church congregation. These are the central paragraphs of that speech  (read the full text at Huffington Post Gay Voices).

The First Thing My Mom Did When She Learned I Was Gay… and the ‘Miracle’ That Occurred After

Seven years ago, we found out that Lance is gay. We were totally blindsided and devastated because never in a million years would we have guessed it. Also, because it was such a public thing, the situation was so much worse on the family. I do not want to go into the personal details of that revelation, but I will tell you that the first thing I did was fall to my knees and ask, “What would Jesus do?” I almost immediately knew the answer… love my son. And that is what I have done. Never once did I ever think about turning my back on him. Never once was I ashamed or embarrassed. My feelings were more of sadness and just sheer disappointment in life.

If you believe that being gay is a choice, then the rest of what I say will not matter. I do not know why, but even as a staunch Christian, I personally never believed that being gay was a choice. I never knew a lot of gay people, but the ones I did meet I felt compassion for because I could feel their pain of being rejected and my heart always went out to them. Even though I never did believe Lance chose to be gay, I did not accept it as quickly as my husband did. His attitude was “It is what it is.” My attitude was “Yes, it is what it is but my God can perform miracles so I’m going to beg for a miracle to zap Lance and change him to straight!” And I did just that. I continued to love my son, stand beside him, and defend him, but for several years I continued to pray relentlessly for a miracle.

Well, Lance is still gay. However, I did get a miracle. It is just not the miracle I prayed for. You are looking at the miracle tonight. The miracle is that I learned to have unconditional love and compassion for my son and others in the gay community. I haven’t marched in parades or spoken at conventions, but I do feel that God has led me to speak out concerning the church’s role. My son is a Christian and wants to be able to worship, but he does not feel that the church cares about him and has pretty much disowned him as a fellow believer. There is something terribly wrong with that and I have to speak up on behalf of my son and others who find themselves in the same situation. When I was a little girl, I went to a celebration with my grandparents on the courthouse lawn in Laurel. I was thirsty and ran to drink some water from one of the water fountains. My grandmother screamed at me to stop. When I looked at the fountain it had the word “Colored” on it and she told me I had to drink out of another one. I was only 6 years old but I knew something was just not right about that. Just as my heart told me something was wrong that day on the courthouse lawn, my heart is telling me that something is wrong with the way the church treats those who are gay.

I could tell you many stories that gay young people have told me about how so-called Christian people have treated them but I will only share one. One of the young men told me that he was searching for God and visited a large church one Easter Sunday. He was enjoying the beautiful service and feeling so drawn to what he was experiencing.

Everyone was standing singing a hymn and when he sat down there was a note in his chair. It said, “You know you are going to hell.” He told me that he never went to church again. I don’t blame him, but to my knowledge, he has not accepted Christ and is lost.

via Huffington Post –  Lance Bass.

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James Stoll, Unitarian Pioneer of LGBT Inclusion in Church

Rev. James Lewis Stoll, who died on December 8th 1994, was a Unitarian Universalist minister who became the first ordained minister of any religion in the United States or Canada to come out as gay. He did so at the annual Continental Conference of Student Religious Liberals on September 5, 1969 in La Foret, Colorado. Later, he led the effort that convinced the Unitarian Universalist Association to pass the first-ever gay rights resolution in 1970.
After training at Starr King School for the Ministry, in Berkeley, followed by ordination, he served as pastor at a church in Kennewick, Wash., from 1962 until 1969. For reasons that have not been disclosed, he was asked to resign, and then moved to San Francisco, where he shared an apartment with three others.
In September of 1969, he attended a convention of college-age Unitarians in Colorado Springs. One evening after dinner, he stood up and came out publicly as a gay man. He declared his orientation, stated that it was not a choice, that he was no longer ashamed of it, and that from then on, he would refuse to live a lie.

“On the second or third night of the conference,” according to Mr. Bond-Upson, “after dinner, Jim got up to speak. He told us that he’d been doing a lot of hard thinking that summer. Jim told us he could no longer live a lie. He’d been hiding his nature — his true self — from everyone except his closest friends. ‘If the revolution we’re in means anything,’ he said, ‘it means we have the right to be ourselves, without shame or fear.’

“Then he told us he was gay, and had always been gay, and it wasn’t a choice, and he wasn’t ashamed anymore and that he wasn’t going to hide it anymore, and from now on he was going to be himself in public. After he concluded, there was a dead silence, then a couple of the young women went up and hugged him, followed by general congratulations. The few who did not approve kept their peace.” ’

After the convention, Stoll wrote articles on gay rights, and preached sermons on the subject at several churches. The following year, the full annual meeting of the Unitarian Universalist Association passed a resolution condemning discrimination against homosexual persons, beginning a gradual but irresistible move towards full LGBT inclusion.
No action was ever taken by the church against Stoll, and so he remained a minister in good standing, but he was never again called to serve a congregation. It is not clear whether this had anything to do with lingering prejudice against his orientation. It could also be on the grounds of some suspicions of drug abuse, or of inappropriate sexual behaviour.
Later, he founded the first counseling center for gays and lesbians in San Francisco. In the 1970s he established the first hospice on Maui. He was president of the San Francisco chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union in 1990s. He died at the age of 58 from complications of heart and lung disease, exacerbated by obesity and a life-long smoking habit
Stoll’s name is not well known today, but for this brave and honest public witness, he deserves to be better remembered.In declaring himself, he was not the first ordained clergyman to come out, but he was the first to do so voluntarily, and the first in an established denomination. His action undoubtedly made it easier for the others who followed him, and to the formal acceptance by the Unitarians of openly gay men and lesbians in the church, and to the now well-established process to full LGBT inclusion in so many denominations.

Source:

Haunted Man of the Cloth, Pioneer of Gay Rights (NY Times)

Coming Out, as an Act of Faith

Gay and lesbian people will be more than familiar with the many sound arguments favour of stepping out of that closet, and openly living a life of sexual honesty and integrity. The process can be difficult and challenging (and in some situations, simply not realistically possible), but where it is undertaken, the benefits can be profound – for the individual, in terms of mental and emotional health, for the community, in building social acceptance and understanding, for younger gay people, by providing a range of appropriate role models, and politically – there is abundant evidence to confirm that people who know openly gay or lesbian friends, family and colleagues are more supportive of equality legislation of all kinds.

What is less well known, is that in precisely the same way, there are enormous benefits in coming out, in church – benefits to the individual, to the community, as providing role models for younger people – and in preparing the way for improvements in pastoral practice, and (longer term), for the inevitable changes in core doctrine that must eventually come. Coming out, in effect, is an important act of faith – which is why the gay theologian Chris Glaser describes it as “sacrament”, devoting an entire book to the theme “Coming Out as Sacrament”.

Just as coming out (usually) represents a time of growth in psychosocial development, with demonstrable benefits for mental and emotional health, many Catholic priests with expertise in both psychotherapy and spirituality, affirm that coming out is also a process of spirtitual growth. John McNeill for example, makes the case in “Sex as God Intended”, Daniel Helminiak in ” Sex and the Sacred”, and James L’Empereur in “Spritual Direction and the Gay Person”.

It is more than simply an opportunity, however. Other writers have observed that it is, in effect, a religious obligation. The Jewish theologian Rebekah Alpert says this is a natural consequence of the emphasis the prophet Micah places on the obligation to “do justice, love well, and walk modestly with God”. Michael Bayley (at The Wild Reed), sees it as a Gospel command, by analogy from Christ’s words to the dead Lazarus, “Come out”. (Many people do indeed, liken the experience of coming out to a resurrection experience, finding themselves fully alive, after a time of emotional near – death).

For Catholics, coming out can even be seen as demanded by the Catechism – which tells us that sexuality is an important part of our human make-up, which must be fully integrated into our personalities. There is of course an immediate contradiction in the Catechism, which goes on to state that this integration can only be done within the context of heterosexual marriage – but states elsewhere that such marriage is not recommended for gay men and lesbians. Also accepting that attempts at conversion therapy to change inherent affectional orientation are also not recommended..Coming out in church, to friends in our parishes. to our pastors and our bishops, will in time help lead the Church to face the simple fact that these contradictions mean the church in effect has no realistic answers on just how LGBT people are to integrate their sexuality into their personalities.

The simplest and most cogent reason for coming out, is that is just a matter of basic honesty and integrity, and honesty is a core Christian value. Ironically, in the CDF letter to the bishops on the pastoral care of homosexual persons, which is otherwise so disordered in its judgements, then Cardinal Ratzinger concludes with a reminder of two important Biblical precepts – “Speak the truth in love”, and “The truth will set you free”. No matter that “speaking the truth” is precisely what the letter does not do, these are important principles for gay and lesbian Christians, of all denominations, to cling to – because speaking the truth about ourselves, in church and in our daily lives, really does have the potential to set us free – emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Conversely, the closet is a place of confinement, and so any deliberate failure to come out where it is realistically possible to do so, is to live dishonestly – and so the closet can be seen as a place of sin.

The challenge is that while the potential is there, in practice there are serious difficulties and challenges, often even greater than those we may encounter in the secular world. For some people, especially those employed by the church and in certain parishes or dioceses, it will be more difficult than for others – and very occasionally, will have real risks associated. Accordingly, I always recommend that people should come out as far as they are realistically able to, in their own circumstances – but no further, until they are ready to do so. Coming out is a process, not an event.

Where and how can the process begin?

The first step must necessarily be simply to come out to yourself – and then, to God, in your prayer life. In doing so, you should be assured that whatever rejection or hostility you may fear meeting from humans, there will be none from God. Chris Glaser writes on just how to do this in another of his books, “Coming Out to God” (and describes in his preface how he found that in his own life, embracing and acknowledging his sexuality enhanced his spirituality – and vice versa).

Once you are comfortable at being out to God, it will become easier to come out to selected humans. Participate actively in a faith community, either one that is explicitly LGBT or LGBT – affirming, or a conventional local parish, and develop friendships with others in that community. With growth in friendship, it will become easier to open up in a degree of honesty about your life and situation, and every inch taken on the road of coming out, makes the next yard easier. When you are ready, confide in your local parish priest or pastor. Most people find that he will be more understanding and sympathetic than they have feared).

And if you really are not able to come out in person, to local people, do it at a remove, by writing to bishops and to the pope, telling your story.

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